Tear down dotted line.....to reveal D-cups

OK so as you know I have been working my way towards doing my bike test.  Today another hurdle cleared. I passed the theory test.
I passed by a reasonable margin, 49/50 on the multi-guess and 53/75 ( pass mark 44) on the Hazard Perception part.  So yes, I passed. But I am deeply pissed off.
I am, as they say, on the Spectrum.  An Aspie. This affects the way I deal with language.  In my case it means hyperprecise definitions most of the time.  But I am also aphantasic (do not see pictures in my head).  Couple those together....
5 of the 50 questions are a case study, a description of a series of events.  Now say to me that someone pulls away, turns right at a roundabout, drives over a donkey etc. and I cannot picture it.  I could do it, but not see it.  My normal recourse from 46 years of dealing with this is to draw it.  I asked if the test people could provide me with a blank piece of paper and a pencil. No. Because something.
I explained the issue, and they said (nicely I have to say) that I could have it described to me, but that was it. Description doesn't help.  So no adjustment at all.
But OK I passed.
Next the use of language. A clearway sign was one of the questions.  what does it mean you cannot do.  Two options were Stop or Wait.  Now those to an Aspie are linked subsets.  That was the one I got wrong. But putting those two answers was not taking into account language issues at all.

Now the Hazard Perception. I had 15 marks disallowed for unacceptable clicking.  This was simply incorrect. I clicked when I saw a hazard. I pointed out to the test operative, before the mark came in, that those decisions needed to be appealed as they were wrong, I had not broken the rules.  A person looking at the data would see that.  There is no appeal.  This is simply unacceptable and a very unsafe practice. I suggest that the DVSA uses it as a money raiser. So given I had 15 marks disallowed by SkyNet 53/60 is not too bad.  The issue, as I know from the practice software, is experience plus Aspie focus/awareness means I spot the hazards too early. Before the machine thinks it is possible. So I click multiple times as it develops.  A better system would be to hold down the button until the hazard stops, surely?

And while we are at it, whoever is driving in those clips is a loony.  Accelerates like Stirling Moss, drives down the centre of the road....I mean OK they live in a town where every pedestrian hurls themselves suicidally under your wheels after having thrown their children and dog there first, but still.

And the inhabitants are stereotypes.  Those who know me know I tend to go for stereotypes. Give me a big butch guy or a woman with norks the size of barrage balloons and I am happy.  Well unless the programmers tailored that specifically for me as a distractor I think the DVSA should go through and add in a few more realistic people.  It is particularly noticeable in the women.  It makes it easier to spot hazards because their breasts appear out from between parked cars long before they do.  But surely we aren't training people just to avoid Lara Croft?

So yay pass, Boo DVSA. do better.

Leaves are brown, and the sky...

It has been a bad few days.
Last week I had a meeting with my IDT where we agreed that there was nothing they could do but play with the meds.  The shrrink was also a bit blunt about the fact that my Aspergers is not remediable. Or almost certainly not.
The shrink and I then plotted what our next move would be , med-wise, which looks like thyroxine.  So he asked for a thyroid test.  I was going to the GP anyway because of my knee so added in a flu jab, an alteration to the med scheds and asked for a thyroid test.  GP pointed out my thyroid function was being tested regularly, i had been boringly normal for 3 years and that had the shrink logged in properly he could see that.
So ho hum.
Anyway the reason for the search is that I am not stable.  I hesitate to say i am bipolar.  I think I am unipolar but brittle.  The Bupropion has helped a bit at higher dose, i think.  But I am getting lots of panic and depression at very short notice.  Walking down a street the other day I was fine at the top, shaking and crying at the bottom.  The shaking thing is an issue.  I am getting marked tremor that comes on at times.  I mentioned this to the shrink and he kindly suggested that as I had been having a gin and tonc at night as a hypnotic it was probably the D.T.s.
Cunt.
So I did a dry week, absolutely no difference except the normal, which is that sleep without hypnotics gives me nightmares.  All night.
So a week of early waking for naught, although I did find out what the shakes were.  They are an exaggerated form of fatigue tremor.  They come on after I have used muscles for a bit.  I think this may be a bupropion side effect.
Mrsinky has found a house to move to.  Given that we had a blazing row, largely because my low mood coincided with her being cross, but my mood went so low I do not know how I stayed alive.  Rang the emergency line for the first time in ages.
well we got through, and now she is moving out.  this makes me very sad because i love her, but also relieved because we were making each other ill.
well it had to happen.
On the plus side I have managed to gym a couple of times.  I started on some leg exercises and got back into doing deadlifts.  I now remember why all the men I Know who are into deadlifts have such wonderful taut arses.  God it works your glutes.
I also have done more bike lessons and continue to improve.  I still need practice but its better.  Today went out in the rain and got the coldest bollocks I have ever had.  Jesus. Took me ages to thaw them out.  Must get better protective clothing.
I am still stuck with the untreatable Aspergers thing.  I went on a couple of dates that were so bad people bailed early.  Was such a blow.  I know I am Asperging them but cannot help it.
Arg.

I was hoping for a chance to meet

Much has happened since I last picked up the pace here so I have much to relate.
Firstly my trip hiking Scotland is now definitely on. I leave on the sleeper on Sunday night. I have much packing etc to do but this is good. I am thinking of it as a sort of walkabout.  I haven't done all these elements together before and it is a little daunting.
However I am determined to give it a try even if I drop out after 1 day.
My depression and anxiety have been up and down like a whore's drawers this last week. Some days dreadfully bad. Others just tolerable.  As long as I can keep focused on something I am ok. But that power comes and goes.
I have had days where I could not tolerate people at all. Other days where it was meh. I have made much jam.
Yesterday was good. I managed to book a cbt test on a one day jobby. I had never been on a motorbike before in my life, not even as a pillion pussy. So everything was weird.  For those who haven't the left foot is the gear lever, down for first, up for second, sequential box. The clutch is what would be your left brake on a pushbike. The throttle is the right grip. Front brake is right brake handle. Back brake is right foot.
If that sounds complex it is, especially if you are used to cars. It is closer to how you drive a massey ferguson tractor.
Add to that the fact that you do not really use the throttle to control speed. You slip the clutch all the time. This is disconcerting to say the least.
The back brakes are drum brakes, a part of prehistory for car drivers. The front ones are perforated disc brakes. So all the braking power is up front. Back brake just about stops it rolling.
The front brake snatches like a bastard. It has a hair trigger on it.
The bike I was riding was a cbr 125. Built for dwarves. The gap between the seat and the pedals was so small my knees had to stick out sideways like I was riding it piledriver style. I was in a class with instructors and 3 young people. These younglings had never driven anything else, and had no inherent sense of danger, so they took to it like ducks to expensive duck houses. I was struggling on the off road maneuvers and was kept behind a bit. Part of this, to be honest, was the instructor not recognising that he needed to explain things a little better for someone with no proprioception.
Anyway we went out and did our 2 hrs on the road, with a radio link. When I was leading I was hesitant. This is because I can only do one thing at once.  I can either drive, or listen to instructions. Not both. But I did better than I thought. My low speed maneuvers need work, as does my road placement skills. But it was ok.
When we got back the instructor dealt with the younglings first, telling me to wait behind. My heart was in my boots, but it turned out he was happy enough to give me the cbt but wanted to talk about the direct access because he thought I needed practice. I told him I was going to say the same thing.
So upshot is I have my cbt which let's me ride on l plates on a 125. So now I need a bike that actually fits, and some practice.
So yay.  Left me feeling good, even if Mrs inky was pissed off that foal knew and she didn't.
Oops