in absentia ego

I must apologise for my long absence from these pages.  This has had many causes and I will list them in order:
1) lifestuff.  You know the simple day to day grind which seems to expand to fill your available will to live.  And I didn't have too much of that to start off with.  I always seemed to be too busy.
2) Moveystuff.  My brother and i did a road trip to Switzerland to move my belongings out of what had been my hostel room.  I gave notice on the room a while ago.  This to be honest was very much delayed and that was my fault.  Put simply I could not face it.  I am glad to get my stuff back but so sad.  the trip itself took several days and was not made easier by my brother insisting on doing all the driving or by the tendency of Google Maps to route you randomly through werewolf haunted deserted French villages for no apparent reason.  In a way the trip helped other things as well.  Before my operation last year I had told my brother that I was bi, and the family gossipnet had told him I was Aspie.  We had a chance to have some long, and long overdue, conversations.  He more than anyone in my family is now trying to understand my point of view.  Dad just continually finds ways in which he can convince himself that he was right all along and there isn't a problem.  Mum, who worked as a SENCO for many years is convinced she knows how Aspies think etc.  Unfortunately she only ever dealt with the low functioning classical Aspie not ones who have invested continual effort into disguising their condition with coping strategies which have literally driven them insane.  Bruv actually wanted to find out what it was like.  He did mention that my "symptoms" have been getting worse but put it down to stress.  This is undoubtedly a factor but also I am now starting not to use masking strategies at all and to go with my first thoughts.  This makes me look more weird in others eyes I suppose but fuck em.  Bruv is aware that I live in a different world to him and that things he takes for granted are sources of extreme trouble to me.  For example he rang home to tell people when we left Zurich, despite my panicked waving.  The conversation afterwards went like this:
Me: What the hell was that for?
Bruv: To tell them where we are
Me:  Why?
Bruv: So that they know.
Me: What are they going to do with that information? It is too early to set an ETA, they cannot influence our journey in any positive way, they cannot use the information so why are you spreading it?
Bruv: They like to know things like that.
Me: And this is behaviour you think you should encourage?

And so on. To me (and many Aspies) life is hideously complicated by people acting on emotional impulse.  I find it a thing of wonder that neurotypicals are allowed out of the house on their own.  Seriously they are a danger to themselves and others. To simplify life we compartmentalise.  Work people are work people, wee do not socialise with them etc. so we can split our time into behavioural boxes where we know the rules.  This approach requires the absolute restriction of information flow to the bare minimum.  I never told my wife that the Unis I worked at had Xmas meals and balls etc.  This meant I never had to go to them.  Information like that is dangerous.  This random sharing of information that people use as social glue is inexplicable and dangerous to my eyes.
Bruv was also just about coming to terms with the bi thing, which was forced on him a bit.  I have updated my Grindr pic to include the beard and this has turned me into a very desirable object apparently.   At any rate as we drove through France the relentless barrage of offers of sexual congress from the locals (many of whom smouldered) showed him a glimpse into life on the other side that he wasn't ready for.  I managed to fetch my guitars back, which I have missed very much.  There is still stuff in work there but thats one thing sorted.  But it made me feel awful. Really awful.

3)bikeystuff.  As I may have mentioned I have been learning to ride a proper bike.  Now I have passed and am licenced to ride any bloody motorbike i like.  More of this elsewhere

4) Xmas.  This is a post on its own I think.

So apologies for all that.  I hope to be filling in the gaps a bit soon.