Yes I loved you dearly and if you're offering me diamonds and rust I've already paid

I have previously mentioned my problems with humans.  There are many attempts to label this and frankly I am not sure if diagnoses are totally helpful.  However the fact remains that humans make me very...well nervous is not the word.  It is like the feeling you get when you sit next to a piece of operating high tech high tension equipment.  It is running and you are aware of it.  but you are also aware it can seriously fuck you over with a simple twitch.  And you have no way of predicting its moods.
I can appear to be social and sociable.  This is a performance I switch on and I can sustain it for nearly 2 hrs.  After that time I am exhausted and have to withdraw.  I cannot relax and show my true self around people.
There are 2 reasons for that.  Firstly the risk factor is too high.  Letting others in is too dangerous.  Secondly, and this sounds like dreadful boasting, when I let go and just talk almost nobody is capable of keeping up.  The amount I dumb down in conversation is staggering.  Most of the time talking to people is like wading through jelly. It gives me a headache thinking down to their level, as Marvin used to say.
But at the same time I get very lonely.  And, not to put too fine a point on it, horny.  I am blessed, or cursed, with  very strong sex drive, probably because it is the only form of intimacy I am at ease with, and it is very irritating at times.  Although I am not a Vulcan I am also not an emotional  thinker.  I reason first and wait for emotions later.  So being compelled to do emotey stuff is irritating.
I bring this up because of the breakdown of my marriage, which looks to me to be pretty final, even though I do not want it.
From my point of view I have been on a sexual starvation diet for 10 years.  I stuck with it because wife/promise/family, even though it was killing me.  Remember that other peoples sex drives are different so starvation for me may be a feast for others.
I am now in a situation that I have to go out and try to secure another source of sex (I think they call them relationships or significant others) because I can't go through life without one any more.  I have no idea at all how to do this.  I mean yes, obviously I could pay, which would hav been legal in switzerland, but that is not what I want at all.  Too dangerous.
But then what else do I do?  I cannot go dancing and pull at the bar.  Cruising the cripples at Zebra Con seems tacky. I am forced to try and socialise with humans.  Even go on a date. this has AAAARRRRRGGGG written on it in big letters.  It is very hard to persuae someone to engage in sexual relations after you have spent a date metaphorically holding them off with a whip and a chair.  Also my ability to read subtext is legendary, i.e. nonexistent.  The only times I have successfully worked out that people wanted to shag me is when they have grabbed my genitals.
Maybe I can employ some kind of chatupmonkey?  A feeling-emotion dog for the terminally cue-dense?