Well the psychiatrist was...
I want to say as much use as tits on a bull. She tried to backtrack on the narcissist thing, then tried to correct me on its meaning and I quoted DSM and ID at her.
She wants me to talk to a psychologist. I have a bad history with psychologists. Generally they hate me and I hate them. But its something to do.
We tried to go through the list of anti depressants.
SSRI's no fucking good
SNRI's remove ability to orgasm so no.
Tricyclics are a bit...killy in overdose
MAOIs are a bit...mad
I keep trying to suggest wellbutrin or ketamine but no go.
So in the end just sleeping pills. Zopiclone. hope the habituation has worn off.
I have absolutely no hope of any of this helping.
All I can think of is ending it.
RantingScienceZebra The rantings of a bitter, twisted, sometimes crippled and rather mad scientist
Inky old chap, keep buggering on. Something that helps will come up. Sounds like the pysch is listening to you a little bit, even if it's not as much as you'd like.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteInky wrote earlier: Lysistrata I hope you have as good a chemo as is possible given it is chemo.
ReplyDeleteSounds like gdaughter is currently Bi, though teenagers sexuality v fluid at times.
Pass on advice from horse: whatever you are you are, never pass up something good just because of genital mismatch.
Today I have psych at 12.30. gicing serious thought to driving from there to a and e. Or the beach. Reggie perrin had a point.
Sorry Im late, Badger ate my will to live at 3.30 am.
Thanks so much Inky. I was indeed undergoing my chemo on Monday at the exact same time you were undergoing your psychiatrist. Unfortunately it would seem from your post that while my session was painfree, yours sadly was not.
Also tx for helpful comment on granddaughter - yes, I've thought for a year or two she's probably feeling bi rather than hetero or straight lesbian (can you say 'straight lesbian'?). Among other birthday presents I sent away with her to open on the actual day were an enormous rainbow flag and some rainbow make-up which rather nicely paints on in one wipe of stripes like those multi-coloured pencils I had as a child. I hoped it was a kind of hint that I might know she wasn't identifying as purely straight, without embarrassing her or her feeling she had to respond. It seemed to work judging by her texts back. Anyway, I do think that by 16 people have a fair idea of their basic sexuality even if they may not have settled yet or come across some of the wilder shores, as it were. I have become rather out of date though with the passing of the years and whereas at one time GL&B were sufficient, now there are all sorts of Ts and the occasional Q which I'm informed doesn't mean Queer but Questioning. But the advice never to pass up something good just because of genital mismatch is a fine sentiment. Must take a fuck of a lot of creativity and social negotiation sometimes though!
Please hang in there. I can't think of anyone else I could discuss granddaughter's sexuality with at this time of night. And I want to read more of Mostly Harmless's barking stuff to you.
I did raise my gin and morphine to you as promised. I do so again now. G'night.
Lys x
well last night I slept in theamrs of mogadon. well its more mmodern cousin. I raise my cacit (google) in your general direction cool grannie. Perhaps buy gdaughter The Great Gatsby? The book that is. Do a book club thing get her to come round and enthuse/criticise. you can then comment on how you liked the protagonists ambiguous bisexuality
DeleteI'm keeping a list of rubbish stuff that's happened to me Inky, so that when this latest unpleasantness has passed, I can corner you and bang on about it like the world's most persistent pub bore. It'll be the social interaction you've always dreamed of.
ReplyDeleteContinuing the name the tat theme, how's about '1:72' or 'Ma'at'?
Ahhh, can you be my Cool Aunty Lysi as well?
ReplyDeleteThe rainbow makeup sounds amazing - If she's into the parades and pageantry, both that and the flag will come in useful in pride season (Usually August-ish, for all the parades).
Also, Q can mean either or both queer or questioning, since some people see "queer" as its own identity (Being people selfidentifying as such, due to having more-complicated-than-binary genders or sexualities) and "questioning" is also a really important bit of the identity. Queer is one of those things that people fight over (My generation and above tend to still think of it as a word that's hard to reclaim and don't like being called it, the ones below mine associate it with glitter and cuddling...)
I shall clink that gin and morphine with my own, if you don't mind me butting in, and hope that chemo continues to be as comfortable as chemo can be. Stay fabulous :)
curious is one of those identity things that gets overused IME. for years I was bi-curious officially, having heterosexed long before homosex. But I wasn't curious, I knew damn well I was bi, I just hadn't had the time.
ReplyDeleteOthers however are just curious. I think my situation shuld have had another word, per haps bi, heteropen homocherry. Dammit we need Pauli exclusion compliant sexuality notation