It's in the stars, next July we collide with Mars.

That one you may need help with.

Went round to Ashes place.  I was due to take pudding so I invnted

Toffee Apple cake

You will need:  1 bramley apple

1 Bramley applee

Cinnamon

4 oz muscovado sugar

4 large eggs

11 oz butter

 9oz caster sugar

9oz SR flour

Oven to 160C

Get a mandoline.  seriously.

Line the bottom of an 8 inch cake tin with non stick parchmentslice a layer of apple onto it using mandoline.  Then sorinkle thickly with muscaovado, then another layer of apple, then 2 ox of butter dotted around, then a bit more musco.

Cream caster sugar and the remaining butter, add eggs 1 at a time, then the flour.  adjust to soft dropping stage using milk.

Cover the layer with half the cake mix, then put another layer of apple on, sprinkle with cinnamon then more musco.  then the rest of the mix.  

Bake until the middle feels like the edge.  while still warm turn upside down onto a plate then take off the tin and the paper.

So that was the pudding.  Ash had bought some terrscotta tiles and we used these to bake pizza.

Two other lads there, using the same film as sources I will call them Parker and Brett.

Parker is a friend of Ash from way back.  In fact Ash was once his boss.  He was a little cool about my description of Ash which was naughty.  Parker basically looks like Daniel Beddingfield and sounds like the Big Brother voiceover guy.  He is a really nice guy, married, kid.  Never floated my boat.

Brett is another incomer to the group.  He too married one of the local flange.  He is ... well if you needed help to build a shed, or catch chickens, or help organise a group of young people, or ...well Brett is the guy you would ask.  Generous and honest.

Anyway wee all made pizzas.

Ash had set out the ingredients, we assembled them and then baked them.  Ash won several more inkypoints for having anchovies.  Oh god I love anchovies.

Anyway we all chatted, even about politics and no-one shouted and it was nice.  really nice.

Brett left early.  Parker and Ash and I got talking about my situation.  Probem is I am fine with the whinging but when people start urging me to make decisions for myself....I have never acted in self interest.  Not purely.  My whole life since adulthood has been about helping others, supporting others, living for otherrs.  I have been miserable but I had a plan.  Now I have noone and people say do something for yourself, look after yourself,

I do not know how.  Or why.

So I diverted and gave a small class in making origami frogs.  Our efforts below.

Anyway shortly afterwards Parker left.  Then after a few minutes so did I.  I gave Ash a very chaste hug goodbye, brotherly style. 

He can cook.  His cupboard contains anchovies.  

aaaarrrg.

As ever my emotions are all mixed up.  I feel like shit.  But any outreach triggers a predictable longing for company. And me being me I get things all mixed up.  Textbook transference.  Or honest feeling.  How should I know.?

Got hoome and have no tonic.  drinking gin and dr pepper.  oddly sort of works.