Soooo
Last night Mrsinky let a bunch of what-used-to-be-my friends know of our status via the medium of farcebook. Should say upfront she speaks/farcebooks them more than I do, and so it is natural she should do that.
Of course that triggered phonecalls. I spent the evening letting all my phones ring and ring. Its my turn to be hounded by phone. Only its not the banks wanting money, its my friends wanting to kill me.
Well that's what it feels like.
I now don't want to be at home near the landline because it doesn't display the number. I might have to talk to one of my friends if I answer it. I have to be careful opening my computer in case it displays available on Skype because then my friends will try and track me down. I have to turn off location on my blogging from my phone in case one of them is nearby.
The urge to just disappear, emigrate, walk off bivvieing is so strong. No people with their incessant demands on me. No intrusions. No hounding me with demands for information and emotion. Just silence and loneliness and loss and failure.
I miss oblivion.
I took a zopiclonealike last night. shrink wrote a prn for a coupla weeks supply. It worked but it was pushing at an open door, given 3 hrs sleep night before and a week of late sleeping early waking. Spock has a bit more space today. but Emo has also been given a new lease of chaos.
RantingScienceZebra The rantings of a bitter, twisted, sometimes crippled and rather mad scientist
They're not going to want to kill you, you've the injured party here. Not to rub it in, but your wife closed off all contact, then waited until you'd been signed off work with a mental illness before unilaterally asking for a divorce.
ReplyDeleteIf anyone here has been a dental abscess, it's her. Maybe use the phone calls to set the record straight?
Totally understand the desire to walk off into the hills and never be seen again, except by the ramblers that you prey on for flapjacks and tea flasks. I'll let you initiate any conversation, if you want it.
Don't let Emo do too much damage, Spock will be back in the office soon enough. xxx
Glad the sleeping meds are helping. Some psychs are ridiculously reluctant to prescribe them because of collective over-prescribing in the past! Take good care. Cathy xxxx
ReplyDeleteGo on, give in to the urge to pick up the phone and answer with 'Danny's not here Mrs Torrance'. We all need a Tony from time to time.
ReplyDelete