Oh for fucks sake.
Last night I got an email from Boss where he was suggesting we talk this week. I sent one back explaining that I am not able to do much other than breathe and not kill myself. Because I gave my Dad authority to talk to HR etc while I am being irrational I copied him in on this.
This has triggered him calling me ( I didnt pick up) emailing me, getting mum to email me....
I know they are concerned. but that is their problem. I feel hounded and attacked. i do not know what to do with this level of intrusion. I cannot cope with this level of extra stress every time I have an interaction.
I have sent an email to mum basically saying respect my boundaries or I will cut you off completely.
I know it is me being wierd. But I cannot cope with intrusion, being cared for, being hounded like this.
RantingScienceZebra The rantings of a bitter, twisted, sometimes crippled and rather mad scientist
Sounds reasonable to me. Can you tell them (Family, that is, not work) that they can contact you via (preferred channel) on (extremely short time period) on (set day), and that other than that, this is EXACTLY the kind of stressful dogpile you're trying to avoid?
ReplyDeleteI don;t know why there isn't a greater cultural understanding that having bystanders excessively worry and hassle the person in crisis literally never helps, and usually makes the issue worse. Of all the people I know with mental health trouble, and most with physical ones too, they hate it when people crowd around and give them the extra responsibility of keeping in touch and reassuring Bystander that they're all right.
It's definitely more about helping the bystander than helping the person in question.
Hope that you're all right, and that everyone buggers off and lets you alone when you want it.
Sounds like bedlam :(
ReplyDeleteHmmm. Guilty as charged. I like to cluster round and check in with the wounded one to make sure they are still breathing. Some people, deluded as they may be, welcome my approach. But horses for courses ;) Not everyone does.
ReplyDeleteI think your parents' response is entirely understandable, and hopefully when they realise that it is not helping, they'll quietly back off.
You do it really well though, and in a non-horrible way (At least when you've done it to me) - There's a difference between that, and the people who do it all for their own sake and when obviously unwanted, and who then go on to make whoever they're checking up on feel bad for not immediately dropping everything and soothing their fevered brows - The latter is sadly more common.
Delete(I am currently suffering from someone telling me that if I don't phone her immediately upon getting out of surgery tomorrow, or get my partner to phone her, I'm going to give her a heart attack and she'll die of anxiety and panic. Does not realise that getting a cripple home from hospital and safely into bed after 24-hours of no food and a general anaesthetic might preclude a long explanatory phonecall in which we're told how to suck eggs).
As always Percy you post with a rare brand of wit and wisdom (though no Russian this time!). Thanks. :)
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