Des reflets changeants Sous la pluie

OK so the bright spot today was being very cheeky to Dawkins and Colquhoun and suggesting they get shipped out to Bangkok.
But on top of that is a layer of shite.  I spent the morning doing the mrsinkyhelping I agreed to yesterday, whilst at the same time hating myself.
Throat infection still bad, and joints ridiculous. bad subluxes both shoulders and hips really complaining. will try and force through and do some movement.

Last night I had to take some codeine but even so was a bad night.  And this morning the pain unbelievable.  Could be because codeine tunred it off and then i was plunged back in.  frog in a pan of water theorem.  ho hum.

Over futile odds, and laughed at by the gods

Today has been rough.  I did manage to do some work on a chapter this morning but that used up everything I had.  Couldn't even go to the gym.  The afternoon was dedicated to sleep.
I have a nasty sore throat going on and a lot of joint pain.  I don't know if this is coincidental or flu.  thing with EDS is that it feels like you have flu most days even when you don't.
My mood is...troubling.  My old twin brain system is working well I suppose.  Spock is running things.  Did a lot of child wrangling over the weekend.  Even had a grown up night out on Saturday.
But to say my heart is not in it is an understatement.  My mood underneath is blackest midnight.  I am a zombie, carrying on the motions wearing the meat of a living person.  My hands make capering motions.  That is all.
Mrsinky was away, at a concert, with company all weekend.
I couldn't cope.
Now she is back and needs my help.  And I give it.  Because part of me thinks if I just help her hard enough she will come back and I can live again.

It's a beautiful warm summer's day...

Not a song lyric this time.  Its from Sapphire and Steel, the one with the railway station.  One of my favourites and one of the best TV drama series ever. IMHO.  Also Lumley.

I am still stuck in a bit of a quagmire but trying to push my way through piece by piece.  I have a nasty throat infection going on, and cannot get through to the doctors.  Speaking of which here is a vignette which gives an idea of my current situation wrt MH services here.

So at the moment I have a preliminary diagnosis of Asperger's-like syndrome with PD.  The psychiatrist, who from the start acted more like the scarecrow from the wizard of oz ( you could go this way, or you could go that way....) said she wasnt going to diagnose it, i needed a psychologist.  She then gave me a list of psychologists she had heard of and suggested I contact them.
I tried, but most of them were not taking patients, and certainly not that way.  So i asked her for additional help.  Not much occurred there so after trying again I asked my GP what to do.  he said he could refer direct to Adult Services (not as fun as it sounds) and so he did.  But because I am on the books at the MH team the request bounced straight back to them, and they said I should sort it myself because paperwork and it takes too long.

So even a diagnosis is denied me by Dr Fuckwit and her stooges.

If I wasn't suicidal before I went, I am now,  The lesson here is that there is no help.  This is as good as I will ever feel.  I just have to decide if I can put up with that.  I suspect the answer is no.

more biscuitery

Latest recipe for richteaesques:

4oz plain flour,
1/2 tsp baking powder
1oz sunfower oil, 1oz butter, melted together
1 tbs malt extract
2oz castr sugar

mix dry ingredients.  add the oil mix and stir to get breadcrumbs.  stir in the malt extract.  add a little milk to bring it together.  the dough is rather hygroscopic so roll quickly to 3mm deep and cut out.  bake slowy at 140c till firm all over.  foal thinks these are good ones

Also recently:  turkey teriyaki ramen
sultana mini heartscones

Tight as a tourniquet, dry as a funeral drum

I am aware I haven't posted very much recently.  That is because I have been having a bad few days.
There is an episode of MASH where Hawkeye is the only surgeon left who hasn't got flu.  he carries on alone just long enough for the others to recover.  Then he keels over.
It has felt a bit like that.  It isn't an exact parallel because of course everyone has carried on around me as normal.  But in real life I have been feeling more and more distant and withdrawn from everyone around.  I haven't been able to answer the phone for several days.  I can call out on my own terms.  But incoming callers are traumatic. Today I managed a couple but I knew who they were.
The situation with my psychiatrist is as before.  I have had an appointment come through to talk to the practice manager again.  But that is it.  As it was the managers refusal to grant my request that my former psychiatrist be excluded from my case left me totally without support before fathers day, when I needed it most.  I could not talk to them under those circumstances.
I have no care, no medication, no counselling, no nothing.  Just conflict.
My mood has been very very bad.  I have been functioning, mainly.  But carrying a level of deep deep despair.  I spent 3 days last week totally on the couch.
Date has been unreachable and I suspect is not a goer.  Though that may be a solution not a problem.
The trauma reached its zenith on Friday which was Foal's sports day.  Foal is not sporty, and is traumatised by this.  They have been training them to do a long distance run for weeks and Foal was begging me to let her go off sick to avoid it.  I rang the school to find it was a fun run, not compulsory.  3 weeks of pointless trauma.  I stand by my opinion tht competitive sport is utterly corrosive and has no place in PE lessons.  After school if you must.  PE should teach fitness, not conflict.
Because to me, possibly because of Aspieness, there is no difference between competitiveness and conflict.
I remember sports days.  oh yes,  Given I was abused by my Primary School headmaster (psychologically) because I was not 'trying' to catch a ball or run, then was forced to be humiliated in front of everyone I knew and their parents whilst he  commented on a loudhailer....yes I remember them.  Should be banned.
So I was in trauma before it started.  I sat crying in the car for 40 mins before I could go in.  Then I got there, and saw that foals lot started an hour in.  So I took a seat, hunched my shoulders in, got out my Kindle, put sunglasses on and read.  Short of barbed wire I could not have signalled my unwillingness to engage socially more obviously.  And yet 3 people tried to chat to me.  I may have been rude.  Not Fawlty rude but unresponsive apart from grunts.  One was offended I think but, really, I think it was fair enough.
So I am sitting there surrounded by baying wolves.  the parents shouting at their kids to win win win...it was utterly horrible.  Like finding out everyone around you is a murderer.  I withdraw from competition completely.  I cannott do it.  Either people are happy with what I say or they arent.  So this environment was completely harrowing and toxic.  I never want to see anything like it again.
Foal did her best.  Its all I can say.  Next year I will ensure she wont be attending. Ritualised child abuse.
Foal also had a band camp concert on saturday so that was more torment.  Not foals bit, the conversation of the non-vaccinating, alkaline diet, woo worshipping thickshit mummies and daddies waiting outside.
Anyway, highpoints? Saw Minions.  it has very good bits.

I win the gene pool lottery

So today I was tweeting with Carl Zimmer about imagination.  This brought up something of a shock for me.  You know when people talk about picturing things in their heads?  The minds eye?
Turns out they actually see the pictures.
I had assumed all my life that this was a metaphor.  I have never been able to conjure images in my head.  I have an excellent relational memory but not a visual one.  If i need to picture something I draw it.  I am famous for my whiteboard use.
Seems this is a condition known as aphantasia.  And it is relatively uncommon.  estimated as 2%.

So OK lets review the Inky lottery.  The following are estimates of the occurence frequencies of what I have.  the Ehlers Danlos one is actually a high estimate.  many references state it as 5 to 10 times less common.
Aphantasia ~2%
Ehlers Danlos 0.1%
Aspergers 0.29%

now I am not captain probability but i think to get the likelihood of having all those, assuming they are independent, you multiply them.  That means a probability of 1 in 17 000 000 000 or so.

Winning Lotto is around 1000 times more likely at 1 in 14 000 000

the odds of being killed by a meteorite strike is 1 in 700 000
given there are around 6 000 000 000 people on the planet and at least one of them has had sex with Joanna Lumley I was more likely to get me some Purdey than all of this shit.

this is seriously looking like a personal grudge not random chance.

Cannot stand dinner suggestions

I apologise to lamb purists but i cannot stand for more than 5 mins so here is a recipe that can be cooked in such circs. A note for vegans...will work with big mushrooms too.

set oven to 190c

You will need...

2 lamb leg steaks

oregano

corn cobs

balsamic vinegar

blossom honey

olive oil

butter

salt

loadsa foil

Wrap corn cobs in foil with knob of butter in each.

Put leg steaks in a shallow dish. Put a tablespoon of honey, loads of oregano, a pinch of salt, a drizxle olive oil and drizzle balsamic on each.

Put in oven 15 mins. Also put cobs in.

after 15mins pour liquid from lamsteaks into another shalllow dish, with more balsamic and honey. Turn oven up high. Wait 5 mins.

you should have cooked lamb, balsamic reduction and roast corn.

Welcome to Airstrip 1

Ok so more on the psych issue. I have put in a formal complaint about the psychiatrists behaviour. I have specifically asked that she not be gjven any access to my notes and be asked to leave the room when my case is being discussed, pending the complaint being dealt with.
Today my caseworker said his manager told him that the psych is part of the team and so cannot be excluded.
I talked with the manager and said that was absolutely inappropriate. She should be asked to leave the room when I was being discussed. He said he could not do that. I pointed out that as I refuse to be treated by her sharing info with her is breaching confidentiality....round we go.
Net result is that I cannot access any support until this changes. I have had an awful awful week, this weekend will be worse. Cannot think of Sunday without thinking of swallowing all my trazodone at once with whiskey. And am abandoned. No drugs, no help, nothing.
The procedures here are a joke and absolutely unethical.

Do you have duck legs? No I always walk like this

So today a drive to Luton to persuade a surgeon to remove the hernia repair mesh which has been paining me since he put it in... turned an asymptomatic hernia I didn't know I had into a constant literal ballache. The drive has left me in a lot of pain. And then the luton and dubstable hosputal charged me for parking. Blue badge notwithstanding.
When I got home I had some duck legs to cook. Having cooked them I now lack the energy to eat them. But here goes.
Caramelised Fondant Duck Legs.

First prick the legs. Deep.
Set the oven to 140c. Put the legs on some foil then tent the foil up over them, crimping the top. Try not to let foil touch the top. Cook them this way sealed in with tgeir own juice for 1.5 to 2 hrs until tge meat is very tender. Open up and tip out the juice, saving it to make gravy. Turn oven up to 180c.
Using a brush brush soy sauce over the legs. Let them dry a little then grind salt on top, then druzzle over thoroughly with golden syrup. Pop em in the enhottened oven and cook till browned. Take out and repeat glaze and caramelise again. Repeat until desired shinonomminess.
Then be too tired to eat.

A little sciencerant to pass the time

I was having an..well argumoid...the other day online with the delightful Rich Boden about whether or not one needed to collaborate in order to save time learning techniques.  I think there are points on both sides, and also think we were talking at cross purposes.  But let me spell out where I am coming from by an example in my own field.
My thesis is that the literature as it exists today is often an insufficient document of techniques to allow reproducibility.  This may or may not be recognised by those recording the results.  Actually I get the impression this is something they do not care about.
My field these days is microfluidics.  But just to show this is not new there is an example I am aware of from my birth-field, organic chemistry, where someone recognised this problem and actually put it right.
in 1984 Henri Kagan discovered that sulphides can be oxidised asymmetrically to sulphoxides using a modified Sharpless reagent.  This was good news, but many people struggled to repeat his results and boy did they try.  So later on Kagan pubished a much more detailed procedure and explanation to help others along.  This one worked fine.  I used it myself at least once.
The thing is that the original had described what they had done, but only gave enough detail for someone who was used to the system to effectively repeat it. Insufficient dissemination of knowledge.
In my field now this is a huge problem.  Microfluidics, when I started doing it, was a field only for a few labs.  partly this was because the fabrication facilities needed were expensive.  then the inimitable George Whitesides published a paper on soft lithography which showed you could make easy biocompatible devices from polydimeethylsiloxane (PDMS) quickly and do it in a small clean cupboard.  This led to a democratisation of the process.  When biologists wanted to do microffluidics they got a grant, then hired a biologist because microfluidics is easy and the lit teaches it to you, right?
Oh boy are they often in for a surprise.
PDMS itself is not so much a compound as a loose confederation of warring tribes.  For a start actual pdms is dimethicone, mainly a sexual lubricant.  It is a messy compound that operators of mass spectrometers hate because it gets everywhere.  Even in your lipstick.  But the PDMS used in chips isnt PDMS it is mainly Sylgard 184.  This compound is marvellous for many things.  It was developed as a diggable potting compound.  It is closely related to bathroom sealant.  But it was never ever meant to have chips made from it.
What is not mentioned much in the lit is how variable the results from chip to chip are with PDMS.  The pros know things like DO NOT MIX KITS (each kit contains monomer and setting agent, each is titrated.  the setting agent from one kit does not work well with another kits monomer) and TIME STAMP THE CHIPS ( PDMS continues setting and changing at room temp for weeks.  experiments on chips from the same batch at different times will vary).  We know the chips drink oil, leak water, transpire gas.  We know they will absorb dyes (put an m and m one and leave it...).  We even once did an experiment which showed, reproducibly, that the speed and DIRECTION of stirring of the premix could give variable results.
So you need to standardise a lot.  the big fellas know this.
But the democratised user does not.  I commonly hear tales at bio conerences of people who could not get microfluidic experiments to work and gave up after months of trial.  Also commonly I can tell them in 20 mins what went wrong and how to fix it.  So why dont we publish?
Try it.  We recently managed to get a paper published on the problems in a related field, droplets, which showed many of the problems and systematised them.  This took several rejections.  why?  Not novel.
Well no, not novel, just desperately needed.
And the rejections took a pattern.  professors rejected.  Students and postdocs who saw it at conference wrote to us begging for a transcript.  We distributed over 500 copies of our poster.  Why is this?
The people doing the experiments know the problems.  The professor only sees the good results at the end of the week.
This is a multivariate problem.  As scientists we edit our results, showing the working system.  the journals kinda want this.  But we run the risk of editing out vital information that allows reproducibility.  the number of microfluidic designs you only see once is too high.  And i do not think my field is alone here.

Seriously

Am having panic attacks about fathers day. Cannot face it

So this morning was rushed getting foal ready for her amdram. They are dojng a junior show which I have to witness this evening. It will be excruciating. Part of it is ripoed off from the mechanical lkayers in midsummer niggts dream...foal is the wall who stands between the lovers etc.
Msinky had work to do so i was going to get some modelling tweezers and go to the gym. Only she needed help gangjng stuff up. And like a mug i went.
We worked so well together. Got the job done. Like ateam. Her eyes are so blue. And her tits are magnificent.
Afterwards we sat and had a coffee.
And she was making plans to go out with someone else.
My heart is broken.
My joints are unstable and very painful. Nearly fell off the ladder a few times.
Wish i had

Also should mention first daytime bradycardic episode. Down to 30bpm standing up.

Teusdays, and forgetfulness, and a bit of money saved

Today I want to die.
Theres emotional stuff going on i cannot begin to cover here yet but i feel worthless and so mucha failure.
But mainly...today i wanted to go back in my wheelchair.
I have been in remission for months. But my pain levels today are through the roof.  Hips and back gone. Shoukders agony. Cannot lift and hold things. One working finger.
I did all myerrands. But it has nearly killed me. Lying hurts. Sitting hurts. Only curling fetal ssat on edge of bed is pain free.
I dont want to be like this again. Bad enough failed husband, scientist, man, father. Now unviable organism again? Fuck this.

The songvremains thecsame

longer term readers will know that I hold the psychiatric profession in almost as muchesteem as genital Warts
Also you may remember, I had a serious issue with a particularly egregious misdiagnosis attempt by the current one where they were trying toget me pwt in the punishment diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder.
At a subsequent meeting this quack accepted how wrong this was. She also said she would write to my GP. and ask for the Z drugs, the only treatment on offer, to be reissued.
So I go to GP today and find not only no letter about z Sonow I look like a drug seeker but also a letter saying narcissistic but dont tell him because he gets upset.
bloody right I do.

l havealready rung in askng for an appointment and making sure the receptionist write down formal complaint, unethical and incompetent. l have a checkup with Clarice tomorrow so that should be nice and stormy.

The woman should not be seeing patients.

every now and then i get a little bit lonely

soooo...

Date has been very elusive.  He is self employed and client dependent so I can understand that to an extent but it seems he is never available at evenings and weekends.  So I suspect I am not the only one.  Well shucks we never had that conversation so I cannot really complain.  So in the meantime I have been trolling Grindr and...well mixed results.
of course there is the normal bombardment of people who want to shag me because of oliver but to be honest i suspect most of them are hucksters. I make it plain its coffee first.  I have hadd 2 meetups.  One with a really charming guy who has similar minority bingo scores to me. (In his case, CP, Aspergers, gay).  To be honest meeting another high functioning aspie (becoming more convinced that diagnosis is correct) was refreshing as much in common.  really nice chat.  But I think he is interested only in chat.  may well ddo that again if only for company.
Last night, unexpectedly was at loose end so took a gamble on one of the randoms...seems lovely guy.  He is on his uppers and i went round with DVDs to just spend an evening of takeaway and chat.  or so i thought.
except of course he is in the closet, isnt he.  andd his lodger unexpectedly needed to come home.  so i was out the door wasnt I.
Shame as i then had an evening of crappy films on sky and pizza.  with sheldon, who is charming but not my species.
He was very apologetic and having been so far in the closet myself for so many years (there were talking animals back there and this lion kept having god delusions) I sympathise but...pah.
So so far we have vanishing date, asexual aspies and captain closet.
My love life sucks.  and not in a good way.

Meanwhile my clavicle is ejecting slowly.  the left one is moving in and out of the sternoclaicular joint by about a cm with a resounding clunk.  and at the acromioclavicular about 5mm with a glonk.  turning the steering wheel goes clunk-glonk clunk glonk clunk glonk scream.

i like the sushi cos its never touched a frying pan

So today got off to a blitzing start.  As foal and I were reversing out of the drive on the school run a neighbour from across the road reversed into the side of us.  frankly shee was going too damned fast.  It was a bit of a jolt, but no real damage to cars.  I got out and asked if she was ok.  she offered to pay for damage but to be honest on my wreck who cares?  nothing to affect roadworthiness, minor dent.  The real deal is that it jolted me but more of that later.
I spent a lot of today doing some writing, about which I am quietly proud.  being able to do it is a big thing at the moment. then got home.  Mrsinky was ringing and texting.  Apparently neighbour had been on farcebook saying how teary and upset she was blah de blah.  Mrsinky said I should take flowers.
My initial thought was fuck off, because minor jolt, her fault, no damage bollocks why pander to dangerously unstable hysterics.
Then after some thought I checked again with mrsinky on the basis that that might not be a majoity voewpoint in these circs.  I do have socialisation problems after all.  So in the end i took a spray of Albertine and an Icecream bloom.  I think home grown flowers better and i know they ar jealous of my rose garden.  So I took it over and all seems fine.
But the whole thing is disturbing to me.  This social network thing is lke living in a police state.  I really do not understand how people can tolerate this violation, the intrusion...
In fact I have more reason to complain than her I think.  I was holding the wheel when jolted.  my shoulder girdle was already in trouble.  The jolt has made it worse.  I am geting clicking sensations from the joints and ...well not pain it is goung straight to nausea.  horrible.  acromioclavicular joints both sides ver noisy.

On the culinary side did tuna steaks under the grill for foal, and did a salade tiede to accompany.  i thoroughly recommend the latter.
Salade Tiede

You will need:
potatoes
asparagus
radishes
runner beans
honey
mustard
vinegar au choix
salted butter.

cut the potatos into small cubes.  put in the bottom of a steamer set and faire to the boil.  whilst doing this prepare the asparagus.  incidentally this is green aspergesas the white stuff is good only for use a a dildo.  to remove the tough bits hold the spear top and bottom and bend.  it will snap at the end of tthe tough bit.  use the tough bit for soup.  cut the asparagus into small sections, cut the beans into strings.  put them into the top of the steamer and steam.
cut the radish into small sections.
when the potatoes are done ( the asparagus etc should be just au pointe) drain it and arete briefly using cold water, then drain again.  add the radish, a generous knob of butter, a spoon of mustard and of honey and a drizzle of vinegar.  stir while the butter melts.  the potatoes sould help bind the sauce.  serve whilst still just warm.

its wierd...i hope i am not coming down with a migrane or something but i honestly was thinking that recipe in french and having to translate as i typed...

ho hum.  joint terror is not helping typing

let us not be judgmental

ok recipe time.  tonights main nums was a risotto made in the time honoured, lets get all the leftovers and risotto them manner.  and it was nice.
but pud is a pineapple upside down cake.  except who is to say what is down and up.?  i mean that is gravitationalist.
soooo...

Pineapple I-Respect-its-Directional-Choices Cake.

you will need:

half a fresh pineapple
50g demerara sugar
1 breath cinnamon.  a pant at most.
3 eggs (which together comprise an eggweight.  as in weigh them.  today mine came to 200g)
1 eggweight butter, softened
1 eggweight caster sugar
1 eggweight self raising flour

Line the bottom of a loaf tin with non-stick paper.  sprinkle demararararara sugar over it in a layer.  thinly slice pineapple and arrange on sugar.  breathe cinnamon over it.
beat the butter and sugar together.  what people dont tell you is the aim- you are trying to get the sugar incorporated and let it dissolve in the bttermilk component of the butter- this allows you to trap air.  the point is that all graininess should go, and the mixture become stiff and pale.  in a jug beat the eggs.  incorporate the egg into the  mix a bit at a time.  after each addition beat it until it comes back to stiff and pale.  as you get towards the end it may separate.  if so add a little of the flour to bring it back.  then mix in the rest of the flour.  if you have done this really well you dont even need sr flour to get a light sponge.  honest.  but safety first eh.
test for @soft dropping consistency@
basically this means pick a load up on a spoon and hold it upside down above the bowl.  count seconds.  if it drops on 5 its soft dropping consistency. too long add milk, too short add flour.
spoon a thin layer over the pineapple.  then add another layer of small pineapple pieces.  then top off with the rest of the mixture.  Cook in an oven at 160c for fans, middle of 180c for plain until the middle feels like the edge.
leave for 5 minutes to cool, as it will shrink away from the tin slightly.  put a plate on top, then fip upside down.  lift the tin leaving the cake behind.  remove paper.
respect its choices

A day in the life

My experience with the local MH delivery team may be instructive.

I was referred there by my GP BEFORE the current shitstorm because, in his words, 'you've always been fucking miserable and socially disfunctional and it needs sorting'

Whilst waiting for the referral the shitstorm hit which plonked a load of accute shite on top.

The psychiatrist at the delivery team was only interested in the accute shite and washed her hands of the original reason for the referral.  The antidepressants offerred I had to come off and she basically ran out of options v quickly, just prescribing sleeping pills for the insomnia.

The team guy they assigned me to is only interested in short term goals because his management say he has to show things being done/helped in a practical way.

there is no move towards diagnosis or treatment of the underlying condition.

team member ( hello clarice) is saying they will refer me back to gp care.  I know gp will bounce me round again to them.  and so the circle of life continues.

welcome to MH care in the UK

I can put a spare bulb in my hand and light up my yard

Ok so to start off with a query.  boots have started selling an accupressure ring to stop you snoring.

Now we all know that Boots is a despicable peddlar of woo but this one is quite dangerous because undiagnosed apnoea kills.  people with problem snoring need a doctor not a parcel of woo.  I tackled them on Twitter and their response was that they had clinical trials, conducted by Aspen Clinical Research of Maldon that showed it was effective.  But I cannot find these trials.  Has anyone heard of this company ( it isnt the same as the one from Utah) and is it legit?

In other news...went into the loft to put stuff away.  Saw all the babystuff we were saving for our next one.  Had to get drunk.

My shoulders are unspeakable at the moment.  Left side: mobilised acromioclavicular joint, mobilised sternoclavicular joint.  right side mobilised glenohumeral joint, mobilised scapulothoracic joint.

Mobilised here meanss sitting further apart than it should until pressed, when it goes back in with an audible click.  the scapulothoracic one is so bad that you can see it from the front- my levator scapulae on the right is popping out past all the larger muscles it should be behind and the scapula is getting close to winged ( though not quite).

this sucks.  this sucks donkey choad.

meanwhile date hass cancelled on me for second time this week.


If i was a rabbit my ears would be at 6.35

I'm an ordinary man, desiring nothing better than an ordinary chance...

a tweet earlier today left me humming Lerner and Loewe.  I realise that we are supposed to take the lyrics of the title song and the later Hymn to Him with a pinch of salt but interactions with the distaff of late have led me to think this may not be wise.  but then it applies to many others, male female, indeterminate and amoeboid meet too...

why is thinking something (group) never do
why is logic never even tried
primping up their hair (pseudopodia) is all they ever do
instead of trying to straighten out the mess that's inside...

So today had another session with the local psych worker.  trying to work out what the fuck he can do with me.  no money to contnue what he is doing in the budget. No treatment that is likely to have an effect. no strategy. I spent 10 minutes today explaining particle wave duality to him. As a metaphor for my brain.
I am seeing Date tonight.  I have been having real misgivings there.  On the one hand I get something from this interaction.  On the other hand when I can't see myself being alive in a years time what the hell am i doing trying to involve myself in other peoples lives?

in other news fuck the traffic cops with a truncheon.
You may recall I attended a driver speed awareness course back in march due to minor rapiditynaughtiness.  Well the local plod are claiming that i did not attend.  And have claimed the full fine.  This is, simply, fraudulent.

In better news am applying tennyson to cappucino

update- date has cancelled.  now seeing on wednesday.  Am now facing moral dilemma as to whether i should buy an airfix kit on way home...