Today I want to die.
Theres emotional stuff going on i cannot begin to cover here yet but i feel worthless and so mucha failure.
But mainly...today i wanted to go back in my wheelchair.
I have been in remission for months. But my pain levels today are through the roof. Hips and back gone. Shoukders agony. Cannot lift and hold things. One working finger.
I did all myerrands. But it has nearly killed me. Lying hurts. Sitting hurts. Only curling fetal ssat on edge of bed is pain free.
I dont want to be like this again. Bad enough failed husband, scientist, man, father. Now unviable organism again? Fuck this.
RantingScienceZebra The rantings of a bitter, twisted, sometimes crippled and rather mad scientist
Friday 12 June 2015
Teusdays, and forgetfulness, and a bit of money saved
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You are a dammed fine man, and I'm fucking annoyed that I cannot (for at least two reasons) hug you.
ReplyDeleteIs one of them cos i would grab your arse?
ReplyDeleteTHREE reasons then. (And a fanatical devotion to the pope.)
ReplyDeleteAns I bet you won't wear a badger costume either!
ReplyDelete