A New Year full of old stuff

I have not posted of late. This is because I could either post or live.
Gosh that was dramatic. Picture me in full Elton John flounce mode if it helps.
As I may have mentioned I have a problem with socialisation. I am in effect a high functioning sociopath, or suffer from something similar to schizoid affective disorder, depending on your viewpoint.
To most people, people are a source of comfort. I am told that meeting other people and spending time with them, sharing food and drink, and living space is a source of comfort and pleasure. I say I am told because to me this is like someone describing the more outre reaches of quantum physics. I recognise it may well be true but I lack the ability to understand it myself. For me people are a threat. More people are more threats.
Mrsinky was describing a beauty prcedure to me the other day. Eyelash tinting. It involves being in a room with someone else and closing your eyes. I am so impressed that she can do this. I could not. I could do it with wolves. Or wildcats. Or mountain gorillas. In fact in mountain gorilla circles its simple politeness. Those animals are rational, predictable, trustworthy. People are not.
So take me. Add the only two people I trust, my mate and my child. Add a festival i find utterly repugnant. Then add the fact that those two people need that festival to be happy and social.
Since the 19th Dec. I have been playing a role as host, cook and gamester. I have welcomed people into my home, cooked lovely things, talked and joked, and generslly given mrsinky and foal a nice time, I hope.
I am exhausted and miserable. My stress levels are so high I am constantly on the brink. I need a holiday. I am more tired now than before the break. I hope in this next week I can get some of that.
I have been to the gym today. I am supposed to do this every day but this was the first since the 19th. My pain levels are high  and my shoulders are...well not behaving. I have much work to do.
I am trying to be positive. Honestly.
But my state of mind is fragile.
I hope that you, dear reader, have fared better. Good night, and may your God go with you.