...Try it (Part 2)

The next time I met Noggin I cooked dinner. I believe it was Korean food. A Tofu based tteokboki. I got all of the side dishes. I cleaned the house. I set the table. I used the Chinese bowls mrsinky bought me for xmas one year and the gorgeous chopsticks and chopstick holders Cheri got me one year.
I have no issue with vegetarian food. It's ethical and rational. And if you do it right it can be delicious.
And I am one of those people who likes tofu.
So cooking for him was a pleasure.
At about this time I developed a very painful subluxation of my sternoclavicular joint. Something I still have and ruins my life. But I worked through the pain.
When he came over I had good food for him and he tried everything. Even the wrapped kimchi which is an acquired taste he acquired in a moment.
He seemed more relaxed. He smiled that gentle smile. After an appropriate interval we made love.
Slowly over the weeks we set a pattern. Dinner. Maybe a film. Gentle sexual exploration. Learning each others tastes. Enjoying just the feeling of intimacy and warmth.
Then talking.
Aspies don't do chit chat. My theory is it's oxytocin related. Neurotypicals get oxytocin released at bonding events. It binds them together. It promotes warm social feelings.
I only get that for 20 minutes post orgasm.
But it was there. I learnt about Noggin. His job. How he thought. I came to realise that although he was definitely not aspie he was neurodivergent and I shared this with him.
Logic and argument threw him in the way emotion throws me. But he had a gift of intuitive thinking that was breathtaking.
He loved taking photos. Particularly of flowers. He liked watching and reading Sci fi. He could put up with my obsessions.
We went together to cafes to Dunwich to Cambridge.  Each time he was solicitous of my comfort.  Making sure I rested. Finding tables so I could sit with my back to a wall. Things like that.
Once I got hit with casual ablism. When I took my arm out of its sling to pay for something the cashier asked if I was faking. Being me I just explained how my injury worked. When we got home he went on twitter and complained about it and got an apology and promise of retraining.
For the first time in my life I felt cared for. Here was a man who cared about my welfare. He wanted me to be comfortable.  He defended me from hurt. He tried to understand .
This was what in the end freed me from the idea of trying to get back with mrsinky. She was loved by me but never really loved me back. Not in that way. Such gentle caring. The idea that my comfort mattered. All these were alien to her. I began to see what a relationship could be.
Weekends when I knew Noggin was coming round were like the specks of gold in a year of dirt. I counted the days. I planned the meals. I couldn't wait to see him and kiss him as he walked in. To ask about his work. To find out more.
He was the reason I stayed alive. My lifeline.
I came off grindr. We were still officially friends with benefits and neither of us had said we were exclusive.  But when I was seeing someone who made me feel so alive and so cherished why would I want random cold fucks?
My life became focused on Noggin weekends.
And when he was here I was happy.
We had sleepovers.
We did things together.
He showed me how a relationship should work. For which I am terribly grateful. I had no idea such a thing happened.  I had always just tried to make other people happy not even thinking they would reciprocate. Or even want to.
This gentle thoughtful viking taught me about how it works.
It all felt so good.
You know this isn't going to last. Don't you?