The songvremains thecsame

longer term readers will know that I hold the psychiatric profession in almost as muchesteem as genital Warts
Also you may remember, I had a serious issue with a particularly egregious misdiagnosis attempt by the current one where they were trying toget me pwt in the punishment diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder.
At a subsequent meeting this quack accepted how wrong this was. She also said she would write to my GP. and ask for the Z drugs, the only treatment on offer, to be reissued.
So I go to GP today and find not only no letter about z Sonow I look like a drug seeker but also a letter saying narcissistic but dont tell him because he gets upset.
bloody right I do.

l havealready rung in askng for an appointment and making sure the receptionist write down formal complaint, unethical and incompetent. l have a checkup with Clarice tomorrow so that should be nice and stormy.

The woman should not be seeing patients.

every now and then i get a little bit lonely

soooo...

Date has been very elusive.  He is self employed and client dependent so I can understand that to an extent but it seems he is never available at evenings and weekends.  So I suspect I am not the only one.  Well shucks we never had that conversation so I cannot really complain.  So in the meantime I have been trolling Grindr and...well mixed results.
of course there is the normal bombardment of people who want to shag me because of oliver but to be honest i suspect most of them are hucksters. I make it plain its coffee first.  I have hadd 2 meetups.  One with a really charming guy who has similar minority bingo scores to me. (In his case, CP, Aspergers, gay).  To be honest meeting another high functioning aspie (becoming more convinced that diagnosis is correct) was refreshing as much in common.  really nice chat.  But I think he is interested only in chat.  may well ddo that again if only for company.
Last night, unexpectedly was at loose end so took a gamble on one of the randoms...seems lovely guy.  He is on his uppers and i went round with DVDs to just spend an evening of takeaway and chat.  or so i thought.
except of course he is in the closet, isnt he.  andd his lodger unexpectedly needed to come home.  so i was out the door wasnt I.
Shame as i then had an evening of crappy films on sky and pizza.  with sheldon, who is charming but not my species.
He was very apologetic and having been so far in the closet myself for so many years (there were talking animals back there and this lion kept having god delusions) I sympathise but...pah.
So so far we have vanishing date, asexual aspies and captain closet.
My love life sucks.  and not in a good way.

Meanwhile my clavicle is ejecting slowly.  the left one is moving in and out of the sternoclaicular joint by about a cm with a resounding clunk.  and at the acromioclavicular about 5mm with a glonk.  turning the steering wheel goes clunk-glonk clunk glonk clunk glonk scream.

i like the sushi cos its never touched a frying pan

So today got off to a blitzing start.  As foal and I were reversing out of the drive on the school run a neighbour from across the road reversed into the side of us.  frankly shee was going too damned fast.  It was a bit of a jolt, but no real damage to cars.  I got out and asked if she was ok.  she offered to pay for damage but to be honest on my wreck who cares?  nothing to affect roadworthiness, minor dent.  The real deal is that it jolted me but more of that later.
I spent a lot of today doing some writing, about which I am quietly proud.  being able to do it is a big thing at the moment. then got home.  Mrsinky was ringing and texting.  Apparently neighbour had been on farcebook saying how teary and upset she was blah de blah.  Mrsinky said I should take flowers.
My initial thought was fuck off, because minor jolt, her fault, no damage bollocks why pander to dangerously unstable hysterics.
Then after some thought I checked again with mrsinky on the basis that that might not be a majoity voewpoint in these circs.  I do have socialisation problems after all.  So in the end i took a spray of Albertine and an Icecream bloom.  I think home grown flowers better and i know they ar jealous of my rose garden.  So I took it over and all seems fine.
But the whole thing is disturbing to me.  This social network thing is lke living in a police state.  I really do not understand how people can tolerate this violation, the intrusion...
In fact I have more reason to complain than her I think.  I was holding the wheel when jolted.  my shoulder girdle was already in trouble.  The jolt has made it worse.  I am geting clicking sensations from the joints and ...well not pain it is goung straight to nausea.  horrible.  acromioclavicular joints both sides ver noisy.

On the culinary side did tuna steaks under the grill for foal, and did a salade tiede to accompany.  i thoroughly recommend the latter.
Salade Tiede

You will need:
potatoes
asparagus
radishes
runner beans
honey
mustard
vinegar au choix
salted butter.

cut the potatos into small cubes.  put in the bottom of a steamer set and faire to the boil.  whilst doing this prepare the asparagus.  incidentally this is green aspergesas the white stuff is good only for use a a dildo.  to remove the tough bits hold the spear top and bottom and bend.  it will snap at the end of tthe tough bit.  use the tough bit for soup.  cut the asparagus into small sections, cut the beans into strings.  put them into the top of the steamer and steam.
cut the radish into small sections.
when the potatoes are done ( the asparagus etc should be just au pointe) drain it and arete briefly using cold water, then drain again.  add the radish, a generous knob of butter, a spoon of mustard and of honey and a drizzle of vinegar.  stir while the butter melts.  the potatoes sould help bind the sauce.  serve whilst still just warm.

its wierd...i hope i am not coming down with a migrane or something but i honestly was thinking that recipe in french and having to translate as i typed...

ho hum.  joint terror is not helping typing

let us not be judgmental

ok recipe time.  tonights main nums was a risotto made in the time honoured, lets get all the leftovers and risotto them manner.  and it was nice.
but pud is a pineapple upside down cake.  except who is to say what is down and up.?  i mean that is gravitationalist.
soooo...

Pineapple I-Respect-its-Directional-Choices Cake.

you will need:

half a fresh pineapple
50g demerara sugar
1 breath cinnamon.  a pant at most.
3 eggs (which together comprise an eggweight.  as in weigh them.  today mine came to 200g)
1 eggweight butter, softened
1 eggweight caster sugar
1 eggweight self raising flour

Line the bottom of a loaf tin with non-stick paper.  sprinkle demararararara sugar over it in a layer.  thinly slice pineapple and arrange on sugar.  breathe cinnamon over it.
beat the butter and sugar together.  what people dont tell you is the aim- you are trying to get the sugar incorporated and let it dissolve in the bttermilk component of the butter- this allows you to trap air.  the point is that all graininess should go, and the mixture become stiff and pale.  in a jug beat the eggs.  incorporate the egg into the  mix a bit at a time.  after each addition beat it until it comes back to stiff and pale.  as you get towards the end it may separate.  if so add a little of the flour to bring it back.  then mix in the rest of the flour.  if you have done this really well you dont even need sr flour to get a light sponge.  honest.  but safety first eh.
test for @soft dropping consistency@
basically this means pick a load up on a spoon and hold it upside down above the bowl.  count seconds.  if it drops on 5 its soft dropping consistency. too long add milk, too short add flour.
spoon a thin layer over the pineapple.  then add another layer of small pineapple pieces.  then top off with the rest of the mixture.  Cook in an oven at 160c for fans, middle of 180c for plain until the middle feels like the edge.
leave for 5 minutes to cool, as it will shrink away from the tin slightly.  put a plate on top, then fip upside down.  lift the tin leaving the cake behind.  remove paper.
respect its choices

A day in the life

My experience with the local MH delivery team may be instructive.

I was referred there by my GP BEFORE the current shitstorm because, in his words, 'you've always been fucking miserable and socially disfunctional and it needs sorting'

Whilst waiting for the referral the shitstorm hit which plonked a load of accute shite on top.

The psychiatrist at the delivery team was only interested in the accute shite and washed her hands of the original reason for the referral.  The antidepressants offerred I had to come off and she basically ran out of options v quickly, just prescribing sleeping pills for the insomnia.

The team guy they assigned me to is only interested in short term goals because his management say he has to show things being done/helped in a practical way.

there is no move towards diagnosis or treatment of the underlying condition.

team member ( hello clarice) is saying they will refer me back to gp care.  I know gp will bounce me round again to them.  and so the circle of life continues.

welcome to MH care in the UK

I can put a spare bulb in my hand and light up my yard

Ok so to start off with a query.  boots have started selling an accupressure ring to stop you snoring.

Now we all know that Boots is a despicable peddlar of woo but this one is quite dangerous because undiagnosed apnoea kills.  people with problem snoring need a doctor not a parcel of woo.  I tackled them on Twitter and their response was that they had clinical trials, conducted by Aspen Clinical Research of Maldon that showed it was effective.  But I cannot find these trials.  Has anyone heard of this company ( it isnt the same as the one from Utah) and is it legit?

In other news...went into the loft to put stuff away.  Saw all the babystuff we were saving for our next one.  Had to get drunk.

My shoulders are unspeakable at the moment.  Left side: mobilised acromioclavicular joint, mobilised sternoclavicular joint.  right side mobilised glenohumeral joint, mobilised scapulothoracic joint.

Mobilised here meanss sitting further apart than it should until pressed, when it goes back in with an audible click.  the scapulothoracic one is so bad that you can see it from the front- my levator scapulae on the right is popping out past all the larger muscles it should be behind and the scapula is getting close to winged ( though not quite).

this sucks.  this sucks donkey choad.

meanwhile date hass cancelled on me for second time this week.


If i was a rabbit my ears would be at 6.35

I'm an ordinary man, desiring nothing better than an ordinary chance...

a tweet earlier today left me humming Lerner and Loewe.  I realise that we are supposed to take the lyrics of the title song and the later Hymn to Him with a pinch of salt but interactions with the distaff of late have led me to think this may not be wise.  but then it applies to many others, male female, indeterminate and amoeboid meet too...

why is thinking something (group) never do
why is logic never even tried
primping up their hair (pseudopodia) is all they ever do
instead of trying to straighten out the mess that's inside...

So today had another session with the local psych worker.  trying to work out what the fuck he can do with me.  no money to contnue what he is doing in the budget. No treatment that is likely to have an effect. no strategy. I spent 10 minutes today explaining particle wave duality to him. As a metaphor for my brain.
I am seeing Date tonight.  I have been having real misgivings there.  On the one hand I get something from this interaction.  On the other hand when I can't see myself being alive in a years time what the hell am i doing trying to involve myself in other peoples lives?

in other news fuck the traffic cops with a truncheon.
You may recall I attended a driver speed awareness course back in march due to minor rapiditynaughtiness.  Well the local plod are claiming that i did not attend.  And have claimed the full fine.  This is, simply, fraudulent.

In better news am applying tennyson to cappucino

update- date has cancelled.  now seeing on wednesday.  Am now facing moral dilemma as to whether i should buy an airfix kit on way home...