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Sunday 22 February 2015

Zoodlewurdle

I am so tired of blogging about my health. It must be very boring for you, dear imaginary reader. I imagine you sitting there thinking "seriously Inky get a life" as you gently rub cocoa butter into your exposed skin, sipping a dirty martini from a chalice carved from an alicorn.
Tomorrow I am seeing my doctor. This poor guy has had to put up with me being his patient for a looong time and you can see his face fall as I walk in.
I have made a list to hand over as I walk in. This allows him control I suppose. I think there are people who visit their GP without a side of A4 close written as a list.
Just to give some insight here it is.

Joint problems.
-spontaneous sublux of hip and shoulder unreduced after 3 weeks

Swollen glands
-submaxillary glands swollen for 6 months. Painfull.

Depression
- suicidal ideation. Active planning of suicide. Anhedonia. Crying. Hopelessness

Fungal infections

- fungal nail infection more than 2 years resists treatment
- hair loss varied regions may be fungal

Retinal heamorrhage

- optician noticed yesterday
- increased clotting times in general

Loose skin

- following weight loss. Very hard to care for. Denotivational.

I summarise a bit for clarity. But in all thsts enough. I wonder what he will pick first? My money is on the depression.

I have decided my next job will be as a magic unicorn herder.

5 comments:

  1. I am that imaginary reader, and I am not at all bored by your blogging about your health. I'm interested, and sympathetic, and concerned, and whatever you write about, you write beautifully.
    Quite a list for the GP, eh? Most people would become depressed with just one set of the physical conditions.

    Oh, and I liked the arsebiscuits recipe very much. Using Morrison's mini stars cake decorations instead of choc chips would give you catarsebiscuits.

    You take care, now.

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  3. Well the GP is most worried about the depression. I am now off work for a month because of it. But also other things made it worse.
    Really not doing well

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