Time keeps moving on, friends they turn away

Its been a while and there is a reason.  I am functioning in a barely functioning way at the moment.
You may remember I talked about a split in my brain, where Spock is the unemotional problem solver and Emo does the emotional responses.
This developed way before I was officially a scientist but it certainly helps.  Working in science the temptation to run off with the first positive data going yippeee I've found Inky's law is very strong, and very human.  In fact in my field (Microfluidics) a very large number of papers consist of this behaviour which is why I get a bad rep at conference for pointing this out.  Stepping back, turning off the joy and going yebbut do this yebbut do that is  vital for real  science.
Spock has been far more in charge than normal.  I have been getting up, dropping Foal off, going to sofa, carefully doing nothing, then getting foal and doing bedtime stuff.  Nothing else.  Ive had the odd evening out at the cinema or playing backgammon but....hard to explain.  Cinema i do it, but I am alone and when the movie ends I drop like a stone.  start crying and cant stop.  All the films have family as a core and I have lost mine.  Even horror films the dad saves the little girl.  It is almost unbearable.
With backgammon, or grindr dates, or whatever while i am there i am sociable (as much as i can fake it) and turned on but when I leave I turn off.  Spock again.  things to do.
I cannot motivate myself to work, or write, or do models or anything much.  I have no spare motivation.  All I can see in the future is black.
The shrink battle is better.  Remember the practice manager over 4 weeks was saying that Dr Snidearse could not be excluded from my case because admin.  I got in touch with PALS, and the formal complaints people and they both got the IDT to admit this was bollocks so now have assurance that this will happen.  But lets look at the timeline:
Complaint (9th june) despite complaints procedure demand written complaint (18th june)
Date on complaints committee document as start of complaint 2nd July.
I rang the complaints staff and said why does it take nearly a month for a complaint to reach you?  they said dunno.  they agreed with me that there was no barrier to Snidearsectomy.  Have added addendum to complaint saying why not process verbal complaint and why does it take you a month?
Another thing is the physio.  Am in a shoulder class which started yesterday.  Walk in and its warmup time.  they just have exercise bikes.  I cannot use these because the weight of my legs tend to dislocate my hips.  must remember to try and deal with that. The woman checking people in was a total cow.  when I said can I have an alternated warmup she said "if you are too ill to get on a bie you shouldd not be here".  Would not listen to me that alternate equipment would work.  In the end i got a treadmill (something else i cant use because it wears my hips out) and put it up to full incline to mimic a x trainer.  and got shouted at for difficulty.  No, luv, if its flat I cannot do it.
Several exercises were dangerous for me.  One involved step up, raise arm, step back.  Now stepping back is dangerous because i have bad proprioception.  I have to look.  As I was explaining this during demo i raise my arms and my two lowest ribs sublux outwards, hitting the physio in the wrist.
Now this physio has heard of eds, but he (this isn't warmup bitch) really wasnt the best communicator.  Mind you with his looks he doesn't have to be. He did adapt some exercises.  He had to.  another one involved balancing on a wobble board and throwing a ball.  Told him flat out that would put me in a and e.  He did adapt it.
But his smug assurance that he knew about eds....I doubt it.  Really I do.
AAnyhoo, on and on.