So today was a day. still is in many ways.
first was chasing around to get new contacts to try and also pick up cheap Harry Palmer glasses for enhanced driveseeing. That went ok. I keep trying new contacts because i hate glasses but wearing contacts so far is like tipping sand in my eyes. Horrible feeling. new ones frankly only slightly better. 2 hrs in and i want to inssert an icepick. am using comfort drops at vast rate.
So after that I went to the psychiatrist. Her role seems to be as a central clearing house for admin and platitudes. I tell her my issue is that I am just keeping moving with no real purpose and when i stop the emotions are unbearable. She says tht often what people need is to keep moving till things sort themselves out. I point out its been 45 years shouldnt something have sorted itself out by now?
I still lack motivation for anything.
I am biologically redundant, evolutionarily redundant, societally redundant. What am I for? Anyone posting a comment about the intrinsic beauty and worth of life will receive a parcel of irate mustelids by post
Speaking of which saw 2 weasels crossing my path this morning after the school run. They were very quick, you could miss them quite weasily.
In life news Spock is arranging dates and stuff. Its very strange.
RantingScienceZebra The rantings of a bitter, twisted, sometimes crippled and rather mad scientist
Could suggest that since you're evolutionarily and societally redundant, you now just don't have any responsibilities, so can just do whatever you want to do for the rest of your life?
ReplyDeleteWant to fuck nine hundred people by the end of August? Do it. Want to learn luthiery and do nothing but build guitars inspired by the growth patterns of slime moulds and the shape of Ben Cohen's forehead? Go nuts.
I'll be waiting for my irate mustelids. Please don't let them be honey badgers.
applies parcel tape to last wolverine....
Deletebut I dont really want anything. All I did was serve a purpose. None of it was for me. Never had any ambition or drive. Dont do competition. Havent done anything for me in a very long time
At risk of sounding like a self-help book, you could take the opportunity to find out what you do like and want. Upheaval like this is bullshit and painful, but if you've genuinely never done anything in your adult life just because you enjoyed it, then you probably need to try it. Weren't you getting a Labrador?
DeleteEddingtons eigenvalues not yet resolved.
DeleteChicken didn't need no reason to cross the road, she just fucking did it man.
ReplyDeleteNow if you'll excuse me, I have another 99 fortune cookies to write before supper.