So today I started work on a presentation for Copenhagen next week. I havent done much but at least it is a start and I know what I want to say.
My brain is pretty much of the opinion that I shouldn't do it though. Will not let me concentrate at all.
This is partly a reaction to a very bad day with Foal yesterday.
So I went to the gym. I did a pretty good workout but my joints are now really fucked. shoulders are totally disfunctional. cannot raise arms above 30 degrees. everything hurts. I think both properly subluxed. my ribs are also out i think and lower spine not faring well. hips flaring in sympathy.
Very very tempted to hit the opiate button.
Mrsinky and foal are out. I took foal down to meet mrsinky so they could do nandos and cinema. Mrsinky is going with two workmates. She asked me to join them but I couldnt cope. I couldnt turn up and be there with her and not with her. I couldnt go along as if we were a family. I couldnt go along and pretend it was normal. this isnt normal. this is wrong. I chickened out, and drove bacck.. I cried all the way home.
Ive been texting my unfortunate date quite a lot. Due to meet them tomorrow but have been being very needy tonight. This seems not to have put them off. I am due to see them tomorrow night.
maybe I should cancel and run. for their sake.
Stop press. Date has to go to southamton instead. Sad lonely horse is sad and lonely.
As Churchill said, 'When you're going through Hell, keep going'.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the zebra etiquette on hugging? I feel like a (slightly more sympathetic) Blackadder confronted by Mr. Ploppy sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI like the cut of your date's jib personally.If I were the sort to throw my tuppence about, I'd say see them tonight. Also, of course the lily doesn't know, it's a bleeding flower.
I went through Hull once, and applied the Churchill doctrine with great zeal.
ReplyDeleteHe also had the motto - KBO. Keep Buggering On.
DeleteThe whole idea of avoiding people to "protect them from you" is a really terrible one - It's not as if other people have no idea of what you're like or of what being around you entails, and it's horribly infantilising to suggest that a grown adult is so emotionally fragile and/or clueless that casually dating you for a little while is going to break them.
ReplyDeleteUnless you're actively pretending that you want this to be a long-term-forever-flavoured relationship, he's not going to expect it to be one. Let him make his own decisions - All you have to decide is "Do I want to see him tonight?"
Very sensible advice :)
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