I really do not understand what's going on.
MrsInky and I still live together, though officially separated. I still see her everywhere, smell her, feel her round me. But we are not "together". Apparently.
But I am still doing all the support I used to. She drove back the other night with no petrol, having forgotten her bank card. So i went to the garage in my pyjamas to get a jerry-can (is that racist) and put it in her car, while she warmed up and watched Hollyoaks.
When she has a rough day I hug her (if she wants it- I have to ask and that alone is killing me) and make her something to eat.
Last night she asked me to help choose clothes for her work things this weekend.
She is trying to treat me like her gay room mate. but I am not gay.. I am Bi. She thinks I am gay, has never believed the Bi thing. But I am not.
So seeing her half clad trying on clothes drives me insane with lust. Then she packs it away.
I have other, more direct evidence that she still finds me attractive, that her body at least wouldnt mind a bit of Inky.
I just dont understand. She values my sartorial opinions, values my support, finds me attractive...What the fuck is going on.
I am getting the strong urge to indulge in some very very self-destructive behaviour. just mindless stuff to make this go away.
RantingScienceZebra The rantings of a bitter, twisted, sometimes crippled and rather mad scientist
This has made me extremly angry, back after a calming walk with something more considered.
ReplyDeleteI haven't a clue what's going on in her head either Inky, but I tend to agree with Mostly Harmless that it's bloody bad behaviour on her part and your confused reaction to it seems, to me, to be perfectly normal. In other words, I feel that it's not you, it's her. But of course I'm not there.If I were, I might sit her down and ask some serious questions...
ReplyDeleteLx
You have been forced into making earth shattering adjustments to the centre of your life. Mrs. Inky does not get to keep you stumbling by choosing to keep some convenient bits, nor can she pull you round like a fucking marionette. I'm prepared to believe that she is confused rather than vindictive, but I would strongly suggest that she needs to cut that shit out/
ReplyDeleteI'd prefer to say 'confused' rather than 'mean'. I suppose talking this out with professional assistance is out of the question?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete