The village of Badley no longer exists.
I hasten to add this is not my fault. I didnt do it. No one seems sure what did.
But today i did a stroll up the walk to Badley hall or the half that remains. Pics below.
That was about a mile on the flat.
My legs are in hell mode.
Im not sure why I finally went there. I have driven past it many times.
I was trying to clear my head. It didnt work.
I feel I am doing everything for the last time. My heart is broken.
The photos are beautiful, but you I AM worried about. :(
ReplyDeleteIt was besutiful. The vibrant green and stark trees. The larks singing. Once past the wood yhe coubtryside was like a bowl.
DeleteI wandered through it like a numb leprous fool.
Beauty is another thing I cant process.
Canst thou not minister to a mind diseased,
ReplyDeletePluck from the memory a rooted sorrow,
Raze out the written troubles of the brain
And with some sweet oblivious antidote
Cleanse the stuffed bosom of that perilous stuff
Which weighs upon the heart? - Macbeth
Seems unusually picturesque for a dogging spot, Inky. Bugger me, but I hope you're doing better than I think you are old bean.
ReplyDeleteIm not doing well at all.
DeleteI have of late i know not wherefore list all my humour
Best opening lines ever! Does this not describe your melancholy my dear horse friend?
DeleteIn sooth, I know not why I am so sad:
It wearies me; you say it wearies you;
But how I caught it, found it, or came by it,
What stuff 'tis made of, whereof it is born,
I am to learn;
And such a want-wit sadness makes of me,
That I have much ado to know myself.
Well, I'm no expert, but Hamlet clearly indicates cigar here, or something long and cylindrical to pop in the mouth as a palliative measure. More medium term, what support are you getting?
DeletePhone the GP. If not for you, for Foal and us.
ReplyDeleteGorgeous photos, by the way.
Inky, I feel like a broken record, but...suicidal depression does not resolve spontaneously in my book. NICE recommends a combination of talking treatment/medication as most effective in severe depression. 'Ecotherapy' is good, but it needs to be in addition to professional treatment, not instead of it.
ReplyDeleteNow I'll shut up, and stop quoting Shakespeare (that was the Merchant of Venice by the way!). As they say in USA this nagging comes from a place of caring. Love Cathy xxxxx ♥
I agree with biteyzebra. You and Foal have a unique and wonderful relationship which is irreplaceable. She's only nine years old, she needs you for a long time to come, and I know the rational you would do anything to stop her being sad.
ReplyDeleteWe're all on your side too, you know. Please contact the GP and then we'll stop nagging you. We must seem like a group of harpies. Sorry.