I am so lost.
The centre of my life is gone.
All that lies before me is misery and death.
What hope is there when meaning is gone?
All that I had is dust and ashes.
St Jude your services are required...
RantingScienceZebra The rantings of a bitter, twisted, sometimes crippled and rather mad scientist
Gin
ReplyDeleteMuch gin
Gin is good. Gin is the mindkiller. Gin is the little-death that palliates the situation. I will drink my gin. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the gin has gone there will be no fear. Only I will remain.
ReplyDeleteNO to gin. Alcohol is a depressant. It is not self-medicating it is self-destructing.
ReplyDeleteInky, what has happened? I offer the services of St Eustace, my own favourite patron saint, as he supports those facing adversity. Of course he never existed, but that doesn't bother me much.
He is one of The Fourteen Holy Helpers, a group of saints venerated together in Roman Catholicism because their intercession is believed to be particularly effective, especially against various diseases. Saint Eustace was also a healer of family troubles - so a great all rounder really!
Thinking of you. Cathy xxxx
Not wishing to disregard St Jude, I gather that a common and rather nifty prayer to St Jude is:
ReplyDelete"O most holy apostle, Saint Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the Church honoureth and invoketh thee universally, as the patron of hopeless cases, and of things almost despaired of. Pray for me, who am so miserable. Make use, I implore thee, of that particular privilege accorded to thee, to bring visible and speedy help where help was almost despaired of. Come to mine assistance in this great need, that I may receive the consolation and succor of Heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly (here make your request) and that I may praise God with thee and all the elect throughout eternity. I promise thee, O blessed Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favour, to always honour thee as my special and powerful patron, and to gratefully encourage devotion to thee. Amen."
Do hope you are safe inky. ♥
Dune-iper flavoured spirits? Keep yer pecker up.
ReplyDeleteAnother day dawns. More roller coaster. So close to walking into nuthouse at times and others coping ok.
ReplyDeleteIt's not easy to walk into a nuthouse these days unless you can pay Priory prices. Stephen Fry and Ruby Wax can - what do they know about the NHS experience of mental illness? For the crazy poor/modestly off, you are often left begging for an acute psychiatric bed...not good enough.
ReplyDeleteSeriously inky, keep talking until that referral comes through. Have you been allowed any PRN like diazepam or zopiclone? Or are those abhorrent to you?
Back on Bad Science today. Someone I liked PMed me a nice message...and I decided why not? It will make the trolls splutter into their morning porridge if nothing else.
Love and best wishes Cathy xxx
I had every hypnotic on earth at one point or another. Benzos and z drugs i can eat like sweeties. The one that worked best was chloral hydrate but that gives a heck of a hangover. But apart from pregabalin am on nothing. GP basically no clue what to do.
ReplyDeleteCmht rang but was driving. I googled the number. Then i rang back and the guy had no idea who i was...
Chase up the CMHT on Monday inky. Did your phone not keep a record of the number they called you from?
DeleteYou misaprehend. I got a call logged from a local number. No message could be anyone. Fearful it was one of mrsinkys vast army of semicousins i googled to find it eas the cmht
DeleteInky, I assume the guy who answered the googled phone number wasn't the person assigned to you. The one who is phoned while you were driving. Frustrating for you, but at least it proves you're in their system and the GP referral worked.
ReplyDeleteI really really hope they get your medication re-sorted as soon as possible. Hang on in there - we're rooting for you.
And I hope the delightful Foal has a good weekend.
Lx
Absolutely.
DeleteIt is excellent that they are contacting you so quickly. Sometimes folk wait months! So do chase them if you can tomorrow.
Cheerleading pom poms are permanently being flourished for you here.
Cathy xxx
*Adopts Lysistrata's radical rooting regime, but adds pom-poms.*
ReplyDeleteSorry I upstaged your pom poms by dint of the vagaries of the way posts appear. Mine are purple btw.
DeleteInky, the med you mention was first used in the 1870s! I encourage all my friends to check out their psych meds here - link provided by duck, hence York address, but the service is nation-wide, and the information brilliant.
http://www.choiceandmedication.org/leedsandyorkpft/medications/37/
I know. I think its mentioned in Dracula. But it was the only hypnotic left I hadnt tried. Benzos and z drugs i can eat like smarties. I once had a dose of dothiepin then 3 doses of zopiclone and a double whisky and was still composing obscene haiku till 6 am....
DeleteGood grief!
DeleteAtypical zebea metabolism plus senatorial idiosyncracies. On the plus side i am generally nonaddictable. Withdrawal is always light evrn from heavy use. Go figure.
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