This morning dawned.
I suppose it had to. Nobody asks days if they want to dawn. Its all pressure and expectation.
Needless to say no miraculous cure overnight. Mrsinky off for visit with friends leaving me with foal today. Foal has taken up trumpet and is doing v well (cue Mandy Rice Davies but she really is) but I loathe and abominate all brass instruments so this is a new hell for me. The last trumpet player I liked was Satchmo.
This morning was the Suffolk Youthicised musicorama school thing meaning I had to sit for 90 mins waiting whilst juvenile brass players farted down drainpipes.
I woke with a sinhs headache so this was not good. I took work along but could not concentrate. Mass transfer dynamics must wait.
Concentration is something i cannot currently do.
Breathing is another. Lungs are very twitchy. If I dont keep an eye on it airways close and i start accessory breathing which is fine till i walk or talk. Ran out of breath halfway thru an order in Pizza Slut.
I didnt rant about foals Parent Consultation Day. Partly because I am worried about her. Having a sick Dad and a stressed Mum and being cared for by a Tattooine moneylender is affecting her school work.
But I am angry about the process. You are given 15 minute slots. Child present. The teacher reads out the scores from her laptop. The teacher then suggests actions. Then a buzzer sounds and you move on. Speed dating for edumaphiles.
Needless to say I booked a double slot. Foal absent. I spent 10 mins explaining in detail why this was such a bad idea and exactly where they could put the notion of the child to be present for all consultation frankly listen to the situation was completely ridiculous how on earth you're supposed to have an adult conversation and exchange meaningful ideas in the presence of a vulnerable audience is beyond me the whole thing was a massive pr exercise so they could say that they have consulted as that actually having let us say anything at all it was frankly disgusting. I don't know if this is due to the headmistress of the school or if it is a government initiative or if it is just for straight out of the ass of a pr person, however whatever it is it really really will not do. I think I have made this perfectly plane now I expect the teacher will be regretting for a long time the fact that I was off sick.
I suppose that I should not be mean to them they're trying to do a job badly. However i get very defensive I had an absolutely foul time in all of my schools i really don't want foal to have the same problem.
In other news when do you want to have the familiar in stable feeling that means i have to be very careful about moving around thats one reason why i am dictating this by voice i hope that i'm catching all of the errors .
Living with eds is complex i have little enough energy at the best of times. Having to spend an awful lot more energy simply watching where i put my feet, concentrating that i don't hyperextend my knees, being careful i don't pick something up too far, being careful i don't wave my hands and dislocate my wrist is something i just don't need.
Just imagine gentle reader that each time he went to the toilet you have to concentrate on how you held your c*** so that your hand did not hurt that is the position that i live in.
Good night and good luck.
FWIF, my school did parents' evenings with the child present right up to the end of secondary.
ReplyDeleteHaving to sit there and watch the teacher lie through their teeth whilst Parent nodded sagely and swallowed it up and planned torture was basically hell. So it's not a new concept.
Good for you for giving them a bit of a telling off. Sanity needs to be restored.
Good luck to you too. Hope that things at least start a trajectory of getting better, even if a sudden miraculous recovery isn't likely. At least tomorrow doesn't involve trumpets.
I agree with bitey. It is madness to include the child for the whole session, certainly at primary school age. Half and half perhaps - so the grownups do have a chance to speak frankly on an adult level. I remember communal sessions working well with Chris at secondary school, because sensitive issues eg bullying were dealt with separately, and he had a mum and dad who did not pull their punches ie he had a habit of not working hard enough.
ReplyDeleteInky very much hoping today is better. And BAROQUE trumpets for the win!
Can't be doing with a modern orchestra!
Much love, Cathy xxxxx
I will admit that the brass counterpoint at the start of eternal source of light divine is acceptable...
DeleteCoughy sneezy lonely horny grumpy gaspy and suicidey. 7 dwarves today.
Are you aware of dwarf theory? If it takes more than 2 dwarves to summarise your condition you are in trouble
That's too many dwarves for one horse.
ReplyDeleteI've got Angry, Headachey, Suicidey, Creaky, Hurty, Immobility and Tonsilolith.
Hoping that Angry will completely subsume Suicidey by tomorrow, because shouting at people who deserve it is a nice distraction from the ravenous void.
Hope some of your dwarves fuck off soon.
I'd never heard of the dwarves. I have a dear friend with 6 concurrent mental health diagnoses. I guess that is pretty bad indeed. I've only got bipolar and CFS. Oh and an odd migraine, and IBS. So maybe four maximum! May suicidey leave you both in peace today and everyday.
ReplyDeleteAs for trumpets, I listen to nothing more modern than Mozart and Haydn (both brothers). Absolutely nothing since then, ever! The crisp sparkle of their choral music is unmatchable.
Cathy xxxxx