There are, I am told, lovely people out there.
I suspect the reason I tend not to meet them is something to do with the circles I move in.
However my life is top full of fools of one description or another. I made the mistake of ordering online items for foal. This instantly got me into a deal of trouble because of course the delivery bloke came when I was out, being out a lot is the norm. Because out is less killy.
They left one of those cheery notes:
We tried to deliver your parcel. However you decided to have a life. We are therefore holding your parcel hostage at the local Post Office. If you do not collect it within 14 days We will cut off it's fingers and post them to you one by one.
So this morning I went into Claydon Post Office. I had the ransome note.with me. So I go to the counter and present the note, along with my driving license which is the best picture ID I had with me. License or Licence, I can never remember...
Anyhoo my FuhrerAusweiss is Swiss. I had to convert it becuse of residence. My primary residence is in Switzerland although I maintain dual residency. So I hand it over, it having my name and picture on it, and say the address is my swiss one but state the delivery address.
I then have the most surreal conversation. The woman behind the counter says:
"What is this?"
It is, as it says on it, a Swiss driving licence, allowing me to drive and yodel in all Cantons and complying with European regulations
"Why haven't you changed it?"
It isnt out of date
" But you must change it to drive here"
No. Its complicated but unless I drive for more than 6 months at a stretch I pretty much don't, as long as my residency status remains
"Having an incorrect adress on a license is an offence. I will have to report you. its a £1000 fine"
The address is not incorrect. It is my Swiss address. Report anything you like. I will report you to the post office for being a jumped up little hitler.
This case is extreme but I realise my life is full of shit like this. I have people telling me "what you need to do for joints is eat seaweed/climb mountains/shag a virgin/take orange juice anally/rub winstons foot."
I have people starting sentences with "you dont want x/y/z"
What the fuck makes people decide they know all about a subject? I have had stewardesses tell me I shouldnt fly, gym instructors tell me I shouldnt do physio.....
I think the thing is a hangover of that thoroughly evil greek tag mens sana in corpore sano.
The greeks merely thought it an ideal to strive towards. But people now look at it as if your corpore is not sano you are a cretin to be ordered around.
so fuck you, woman in claydon post office. I hope your vile sweater snags in a franking machine and rips your tits off.
RantingScienceZebra The rantings of a bitter, twisted, sometimes crippled and rather mad scientist
Fucking hell, people. Surely, having slightly-complicated residency is fairly normal? The classic "Owns a house in X, but rents one in Y for work" regardless of national boundaries (Especially within Europe!)
ReplyDeleteI hope she has fun "reporting" you, and gets told exactly how ignorant she is by her superiors.
And likewise - Mens sana in corpore sano is a nice ideal (And fuck it, we're working on it!) but it's not an observation. Anyone who brings out the patronising baby-talk just because you're walking with a stick deserves whatever you do to them.
Grrrrrr indeed.
ReplyDeleteI was once removed from my (excellent) GP's list because I turned down the offer of a mammogram from an arsey practice nurse. When challenged, she said it was because she thought I'd moved abroad permanently. Nope. If I had I would have told my GP myself. In writing. I'm courteous and organised like that.
As for my cancer, a summary of unasked for and ignorant advice so far would be something like: adopt positive thinking; eschew any food with chemicals in it, also no alcohol, no sugar, no meat, no wheat; take a daily detox enema of smoothied quinoa, chia seeds, organic broccoli and manuka honey; and always remember God loves you and gave you cancer for a reason.
Fuck positive thinking. Fuck God. Fuck a lot of stupid people.
The origami quadrupeds are nice, though. Thanks.
Lx
Lysistrata, I am afraid that I guffawed at the gross stupid insensitivity of people talking to you like that. The God/cancer for a reason meme is the final insult! But then again, why have you not been partaking of coffee enemas, like that nice Dr Gerson says? Surely, you only have yourself to blame?
ReplyDelete(Joking obviously)
Lots of love to the senator and you all. And when Inky says "my life is top full of fools of one description or another", I am silently reflecting "I do my best".
Cathy